Wednesday, March 7th, 2001
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11:02 pm - And it goes on...
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Hiyas... Well same ole shit lately, School.. Boyfriend... home life.. and that's about it. Hopefully I'll get this job at the sports pub seatin people... smoking cigarettes,& making 6.50 an hour, dunno tho. I had to get a retainer for my labret piercing cause most jobs dont allow it.. and i need some extra cash these days! So a clear one goes in. I almost dont feel complete without It.. it's weird.
Anyways M's ex girlfriend ... they dated for like 3 months... never did anything... were basically just friends or some shit like that... well when they dated she was an exchange down here from finland and they broke up cause she had to go back home. It was during highschool... (which was like 2 years ago for him) and he told her she could come back anytime she wanted to visit and stuff.... SO.. the bitch wants to come. She's stayin here for a month. The bad part about it is.. she's staying with him... or at his house should i say... which is going to feel very fuckin akward for me considering i've stayed home 1 night(alone or without him) in the last hmmm maybe 3 months. Even tho they never did anything sexually and he dosent miss holding, loving, caressing, blah blahing.. her it's still fucked up that she's coming ... I mean wtf is it going to be like when we go somewhere.... Me, Him, and his ex?? BLAH! And he has to entertain her I mean she isnt going to just want to sit at his house and watch tv.( he dont even have cable) so he's gonna have to do shit with her... ya know treat her as a guest. I know how i am and i wont be able to handle that.. he's an awesome guy.. and i trust him... i dont think he'd do anything with the bitch.. but i dont trust bitches so.... owell........ life goes on
current mood: nothing
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Tuesday, January 16th, 2001
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6:38 pm - So uh..
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Well Not to much has been up lately. Got my lip pierced... started school... and uh.. that's about it! 2nd day of school today. It's actually pretty fun! Sit in a class room with a bunch of strippers, ghetto black chicks, and trailor trash skanks! 1st day of school learned how to do finger waves(Hah)! fucked around with it today too! Me and Michael are doing good... not to much to say about that. And uhhhh.... that's it, later taters!
current mood: whatever
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Wednesday, January 10th, 2001
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6:45 am
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Tuesday, December 19th, 2000
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5:24 pm - Eeek.
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Hiyas... well havent really been on the puter to much, dunno my computer addiction has let up some i do belive. *shrugs* anyways been chillin lately. Gettin fucked up ya know the usual. Went to Chris' Beauty College and applied for financial aid! Gonna start school in January. I'm kinda excited about it. I think that's what i want to do. I dont have any desire to go to JD or any other junior colleges around here and i cant afford to go to a big university. I dont want to anywho! I'd like to get into make-up or something for like theater work! who knows! maybe oneday?... Everything is pretty cool around this way tho Jesse's still down for his x-mas break so we been partying. Me and michael are pretty good as well.... a few fuck ups every once inwhile... but that's normal. Anyways im off to eat something im starving. byeeeeeee- Jamie
current mood: shitty!
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Wednesday, December 13th, 2000
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10:11 am - Long time...
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Well it's been forever since i've wrote in my journal! Everything has been pretty good lately! last weekened Jesse,Michael,Kristin,My mom, Jill, Patrick, and Greg all partied in Mobile. We hit up a few clubs and shit! It was pretty fun! Of course there was a few things that were aggrivating that happened but... I dont want to get into that (pussy roll) Anyways Jesse,michael,marcello, and diego all chilled monday. we took a few marilyn monroes! It was weak! but i had a good time. and Hmmm... other than that just been chillin. Jesse and i went and ate at roadhouse and walked around the mall last night it was fucking yUmmmmm! heh! anyways im out byeeeeeeee <3-Jamie
current mood: awake
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Monday, December 4th, 2000
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6:00 am - Yay!
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Hiyas! Well... This weekend was pretty awesome! I accomplished my goal(which i suppose wasnt a good one). I intended on staying fucked up the entire weekend & i did just that! Friday Michael,Jesse and I rolled! we chilled for awhile laughing and just hanging out! Then we went over to kristins house and danced with the glo-sticks and shit just being stupid! Saturday! heheheh... rolled again cept this time we were at my house! Michael, Jesse, Jill, and myself rolled! Jill didnt! danced with glo-sticks, talked, massaged, hung out... Just partied! It was really fun! I'm in Tallahassee now! I rode back with jesse for the week, So he wouldnt have to ride alone coming back for the christmas holidays! Anyways i wanted to say thank you to Tara, NeXus, Bob, Jenny, and sinRRR for wishing me a happy birthday! that really means alot! I think this is the best birthday i've had in a long ass time! I got a cd burner from Michael... that means Techno cd's everywhere! yayyyy! hehe! New orleans did not work out! It was kinda strange cause it was something i decided like 3 weeks before my birthday and for some odd reason... when saturday got here i wasnt to serious about it. My moms friend told me he was glad i didnt go cause he had a really bad feeling about the car ride there. His intuition is pretty good too!Owell.. i had a blast just sittin in my house with people i enjoy! Ok... time to go.! thanks again ya'll :)
current mood:  drained
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Sunday, December 3rd, 2000
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8:42 pm - Yay!!!!
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THANK YA'LL SO MUCH!!!
I had the best birthday! Thank You all for thinking of me! Jamie
current mood:  happy
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Friday, December 1st, 2000
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6:04 am
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Muahahah..... This is about 10 months ago at D's house. Fucked up on E.
*READ PREVIOUS ENTRY TO GET THE MEANING OF THIS PIC*
Feelin' Like I'm Sittin On Top Of The World!
*Be sure to check out this comment for useful information from neXus*
current mood: happy
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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4:14 am - Mind over matter......... *dances*
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WhoOooOo...*laughs* what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm still awake and only had about 3-4 hours of sleep last night! I'm not on any drugs. I'm wide eyed. Maybe I need drugs? who knows!... SO tonight.. I watched this program on MTV called "I'm on extacy"... actually it was pretty fucking good! They didnt down it to much and since that's my favorite drug, I was impressed! They showed about 4 different cases of people in different towns/cities etc.. before,during & after use of ex! 1 out of the 3 was a bad case. She was fucked in the head anywho! You have to spread your pills out for pete sakes <--(hah i said pete sakes,shoot me) This bitch ate pills everynight and it slowly started to deteriorate her memory! Who's fault is that?
There was actually alot of good that came from it!
During or before the 50's MDMA was legal... many doctors used it for paitents with depression and what not. It helped put them on a different level of thinking. Made them feel more positive about themselves. This one woman was married to a guy who was quickly dying of a tumor or cancer. 2 Weeks before his death they recorded a session of them both of them on ex... it was nothing but happiness and love! Another guy grew up depressed, gained alot of weight, went into a shell... so afraid of what others thought about his outside apperance. After extacy he opened up, didnt care, became a free spirit!!! What the fuck is wrong with it?? Please feel free to comment on that cause i'd like to know others opinions.
yeah it's got a little herion in it... HAHA! owell. It's less addictive than cigarettes and like 60,000 cases of marijuana smokers have been hospitalized versus like 9 cases of ex takers in the past year. THe reason for that was due to dehydration! DRINK WATER!
Maybe i should just go ahead and get EXTACY tattooed on my forhead?!?!
Enlightenment
Ok i'm done with my topic of ex. Today... did nothing but play on the computer. BAH! Jill came over we chatted for awhile about a bunch of different shit, then we went up to my moms work and ate some foOd!... whatta life! Nothing more to say bye byes
SeXonX
des0lateangel
current mood: impressed
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Thursday, November 30th, 2000
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4:45 pm - Umm...
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Hmm.. I don't know really!
I stayed at M's last night. I choked/coughed the whole fucking night.Being sick fucking sucks! I Never really got any sleep. Mom called at like 10:something wanting her car, so home I came. She decorated some of the house with christmas stuff.I like christmas! Not because of the exchange of gifts and receiving... just the whole scene. Anyways.
Hmm... I have like alot on my mind, but don't really know what to say?...I know once I hit the "Update Journal" button everything will surface and i'll have so much to say!
I was reading this journal entry the other night & and this dude kept putting himself down. I saw that and was like "bah." here it is:
I'm not good enough for anyone. I never will be. Especially 'some' people. I don't know why I try to pretend everything will be fine.
"Making a decision of death,
While everyone around you pled,
Now you fly in peace,
I hope, My friend."
My Response: Not.. so true..
des0lateangel
2000-11-29 23:49
I know I don't know you. I know I don't know how life is around your way. I know I don't live in your shoes, but... If you feel that you arent "good enough" for anyone...Why not figure out why??.. you are what you are.. if people dont accept that.. then FUCK EM'. Depression is a state we get ourselves in for no reason. Im not saying you're depressed.. just simply stating that happiness is so inside us. It just takes you to bring it out & take hold to it. Is there a reason to sit around and be non-happy? FUCK NO! Nothing matters... It's all a game here! You play the feild! -des0lateangel
I just thought i'd share that cause i know many feel the same way this dude does.. and theres no reason for the bullshit. We make things the way they are. Only we can change them. ANyways...
laters- des0lateangel
current mood:  bored
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Wednesday, November 29th, 2000
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9:37 pm - Fucking BLah.......
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Ok.. so... I fall asleep untill like 9:10. M gets off work supposivly at 10. I'm thinking ok... get up now.. clean the kitchen for mom(so she dont bitch about us doing nothing) jump in the shower get dressed for the night... and meet up with him.... WRONG!!!!He calls at 9:30, he's off work.. they're(Him, his brother & girlfriend,) are going over to Jessicas on highway 49 to hang out. he wants to come get me right now! blah I just got done washing dishes, no where near dressed to be around people... my hair in a little pony tail. FUCK THAT. Jessica is married btw... so im not all worried about ya know him going over to some bitches house... that aint the point. I guess it's my fault for not being ready???? fuck if i know.. so i was like.. "Well i'll talk to you later!"... By the time i got a shower, got dressed.. did all my female shit like make up and hair and that bullshit.. which dosent take me that long and drove over to highway 49 which is like 20 min from my house maybe longer... they'd probably be ready to leave... and uhm.. I dont wanna go over there to much anywho.. so that's all blah~!!!!!!!!!! I shouldnt be pissed cause ... i shoulda been ready rather than sleeping all day.. but still![ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<font .>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Ok.. so... I fall asleep untill like 9:10. M gets off work supposivly at 10. I'm thinking ok... get up now.. clean the kitchen for mom(so she dont bitch about us doing nothing) jump in the shower get dressed for the night... and meet up with him.... <b>WRONG</b>!!!!He calls at 9:30, he's off work.. they're(Him, his brother & girlfriend,) are going over to Jessicas on highway 49 to hang out. he wants to come get me right now! blah I just got done washing dishes, no where near dressed to be around people... my hair in a little pony tail. FUCK THAT. Jessica is married btw... so im not all worried about ya know him going over to some bitches house... that aint the point. I guess it's my fault for not being ready???? fuck if i know.. so i was like.. "Well i'll talk to you later!"... By the time i got a shower, got dressed.. did all my female shit like make up and hair and that bullshit.. which dosent take me that long and drove over to highway 49 which is like 20 min from my house maybe longer... they'd probably be ready to leave... and uhm.. I dont wanna go over there to much anywho.. so that's all blah~!!!!!!!!!! I shouldnt be pissed cause ... i shoulda been ready rather than sleeping all day.. but still!<font . ptsize=15> ** flips the computer off**
<font . ptsize=10>
for some reason i thought it will make me feel better -des0lateangle
current mood:  cranky
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9:37 pm
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10:35 am
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No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep. No sleep.
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7:04 am - *Pinches nose and sips Black coffee*
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Nasty ass shit! So... another night of not sleeping, how great! what's really fucked up is I was eating a slice of pizza...a little while ago :] and uhm it comes with this nasty ass garlic oil shit for dipping your pizza in, So I had that right next to my plate... right next to my keyboard... How smart bitch! well you know the rest.. my dumbass spills the whole thing all over the keyboard, the desk, my legs, & the chair! How wonderful! so now i smell like garlic and the keyboard (which i got last x-mas and happen to like alot *im a dork*) is totally FUCKED ... and the chair has oil stainds on it, moms really gonna like that!
So uhm.. I went in bitchboys room (sean) and got this old ass packard bell keyboard which really fucking blows. ENTER barely works and it's just.. gross.. to type on!
bLah.. what to do today?? Go look for a job? Go to sleep? play on the computer all day? Go to JD.. and see about some financial aid shit? Keep drinking this nasty ass black coffee that is supposed to open my chest up so i can breathe better?? *gags* LIFE.... ! Anyways... Bye Byes
current mood: aggravated
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12:55 am - Hmmm...
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Ok.... so why does it seem.. that when you feel like you can open up and be a little nicer, and share just a little bit of your inside niceness...people want to take it the wrong way. As if your totally head over heals in love with them?... I was thinking about it and figured i'd ask, maybe i'll get a response!
Today... sick sick sick ;(... been coughing, weezing, sneezing... and all that bullshit! I honestly think i was gonna die today my breathe was so hard to get. I got an inhaler tho which helped much... and drank some thera flu at M's anyways. blah!
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Tuesday, November 28th, 2000
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6:56 am - Still awake.... bahhhhhh...
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Heh.... I have problems..... not bad ones tho...for a change! *GRINS*... It's weird now. When things fall into place so well... you kinda forget where you started off.. all broken and apart! Everyday it get's more intense... can't control feelings from inside! I can't anyways. How I feel is how I feel. I can't say i've been there tho, because before it was so very different! I like it the way it is now & hopefully it wont go away... cause it's a great feeling! -des0lateangel
current mood:  silly
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5:41 am - "Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
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Hiyas... Damn! It's been so long since i've writtin in my journal, I don't even know where to begin! So, My birthday is this sunday ;] whoOohoOo... and Kristin had planned on all of us going to NOLA. Us being Nick(kris' man), kristin, Jesse, Stephanie, and me!... But my beb? got off for the weekend... so I most definatly want him to come & when I mentioned to kristin that he was coming..she was like pissy cause she "planned" only the people she planned to come. Her man can go but mine can't?.. hah!!! Finally we stopped bitching, so I don't know what we're gonna do about the riding situation.. we'll figure some bull shit out! Either or im gonna be partying, whether it be in NOLA.. or in my house Hmm.. last weekend... what happend.. well me and Jesse got fucked up alot.. him more than me i think. That motherfucker passes out everywhere now...I'm dissapointed ;]... He was rollin' a J and passed out HAHAH! that was some funny shit! Saturday I rolled! It was a "euro".. it was pretty fucking good! NOpe I didn't plug it *smiles*... I pretty much slept all day sunday and most of monday! I've been thinking.. i might go apply at Chesterfeilds! M's momma said they're hiring.. and my ex-step brother works there so that would be cool! Anyways...Hope everyone else's weekend went great... bye byes *muah*
current mood:  sick
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Thursday, November 23rd, 2000
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7:00 pm - Ahhhh....
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Hiyas all.. Havent written in here in like forever so it seems! Jesse came home hehe... Havent really done anything productive these past few days except for gettin fucked up! We went to go to South beach last night.. but Jesse's cousin mandy decided she'd rather go to the complex cause she could drink free all night... verses drinking till one o'clock at SB. It was pretty packed... alot of people had left SB cause it sucked and made their way to the complex! I was ready to go like early, maybe if i had been fucked up i woulda liked to stay.. but the clubs here are just like "blah" now days & of course mandy wasnt ready to leave yet..so we stayed longer for her. Finally we were like "mandy, we're going" came home.. around 4 ........and passed out! Dont know what im doing tonight. M gets off work around 10-10:30... so we might get a tab or something! who knows.
Turkey day was pretty good for me. We(Mom, sean & I) went over to moms friends house to eat! She's INdian.. so i thought she'd made indian food for dinner... I was wrong. I'm still full! *gags*... anywho.. Im going to ~*Mermaid*~ and uhm... chill for a bit! HOpe everyones day went well! -des0lateangel
current mood: drained
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Monday, November 20th, 2000
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10:58 pm - You really wanna lick it...???
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haha... I'm fixing to head off.. going with M to Johnneys house. Johnney is pretty cool plays guitar and shit! wonder what we're gonna do!? ANyways my bitch comes home tomorrow! yayayyaya. You better belive it's on! Time to get FUCKED UP.. and possibly fucked! just kiddin ;] Anyways! ya'll have a great night... and humm.. see you morrow jess! <3<3<3 -des0lateangel
current mood:  blank
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3:39 am - The weekend
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Heh... Friday night.. stayed with mah baby! hehe Saturday.. rolled with kristin, stephanie, & Joe(some older guy who was seriously FUCKED up)! We all chilled at kristins house. She borrowed her brother black light and these red and blue lights which look just like police car lights! It was fun. Around 4 they were looking for more tabs. I was like dude..i gotta go! so i went and met up with michael. Got to his house and he had a hit of acid waiting on me... hahaha.. come to find out the paper was FAKE! it was cool tho it was already almost 5 when we took the hit, i woulda been up alll fucking day trippin balls if it had been real! I slept all day sunday.. and now here i am monday early morning! I'm going to look for a job today! I dont care where the fuck i work, if it's mc'donalds then so be it! i need so much money now days. I need new shoes, jeans, shirts, make up, christmas presents for everyone, other little shit for myself... so much needs now days i cant handle it anymore! Anyways... I hope like all of ya'lls weekends went well.. sinRRR sounds like yours did ;].. and uhm imma CC it soon i promise! Bye ya'll loves much!-des0lateangel
current mood: awake
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